197.8Lbs HAPPY NEW YEARS

Okay so Im just under 200lbsand I bought myself a new diary in claires for 15EUROS and Im writing up my goals,tips into it at the moment. I have Arts N Crafts of paints and crayola but Im not sure HOW TO paint?Like i wanna be able to draw my feelings onto the page but I dont know what kind of picture I will draw to look good and not just paint onto the page!.Feeling kinda hungry staff goes

You have 3bites out of that raw carrot and I will give you your cigargette

So with my ED I did 3bites and then I relised that I shouldnt have to eat 3bites to get a smoke...Im really annoyed now.ANyways Ill probably just drink some coffee to keep me from collpasing and blacking out..Just had chocolate spread onto my white toast so Im not having any food till tonight when Ill allow myself to have MORE toast with jam not more choclate spread. Just so I dont go to bed hungry-nobody wants that I shouldnt have to feel bad or upset for having a hungry tummy.BEing hungry is a good thing but not late @ night when Your cold and hungry💙 just thinking of my goal weight I mean my ultimate goal weight is like 88lbs I wonder what that looks like on me like im 5'5 and most of the thinspo I seen are peeps who are under 100lbs.Im over 200lbs so that means I have to loose about 50lbs at least to get me anywhere near 100lbs.